Last night I had a dream, scratch that a nightmare of an acquaintances house burning down, and I’m talking charred down nothing left but the embers showing the footprint of the house that once was. I could see Erin falling to her knees in her long cream skirt to the ground untouched with soot, her … More When you get that “feeling”….
”I don’t have the time or crayons to explain myself to you”.
.The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. ‘Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’ A small … More From the mouth of babes
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray ‘Take only ONE . God is watching.’ Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end … More Apples vs cookies Lol!
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to ‘honor’ thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’ Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, ‘Thou … More Out of the mouths of babes
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, ‘I’m drawing God.’ The teacher paused and said, ‘But no one knows … More Out of the mouth of babes
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
Obiuaries would be a lot more intersiting if they told you how the person died.
How the hell are you supossed to fold a fitted sheet anyway?
I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
I feel there is a great need for a sarcasm font.
If Mapquest and Google maps could just start their directions at number five; that would be great, I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my sub.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers; I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night there are more kisses that begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.