Nothing but a memory

 The other day I heard a song I hadn’t heard in a while. Miranda Lamberts The house that built me. I’ve included the link and lyrics for you below.

My daughter at the age of 16/17 always asked me to listen to it, I knew what the gist of the song was about, although the family moves out of the house in a happy way, we move out due to a divorce. But the lyrics were just as fitting with our situation.

I didn’t listen to the words while she played the song in the car, oh I pretended to; but I was to busy reciting in my head ”act strong, stay emotionless, put on your brave face, she won’t get through this if she thinks you didn’t”. Hardest acting job I had ever performed, and as a parent, we perform a lot.

Broken-heart, broken-home. Those are the words that our pastor spoke this morning in service. I always knew my kids were broken-hearted through our divorce but I never knew the depths of it until now. Why? Because I never went through it that’s why. But my kids, well my kids did.

https://g.co/kgs/QvTvM2

I know they say you can’t go home again.
I just had to come back one last time.
Ma’am, I know you don’t know me from Adam.
But these hand prints on the front steps are mine.
Up those stairs, in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar.
And I bet you didn’t know, under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here it’s like I’m someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave.
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me.
Mama cut out pictures of houses for years.
From ‘Better Homes and Garden’ magazines.
Plans were drawn, and concrete poured,
And nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama’s dream.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here it’s like I’m someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave.
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me.
You leave home, you move on and you do the best you can.
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here it’s like I’m someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could walk around I swear I’ll leave.
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that, built me.

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